I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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