But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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