Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
