Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This baby is an asshole
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
