he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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