What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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