period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
