if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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