Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
