She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
