i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
