we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We need to get me chipped asap
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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