remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
