Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
