i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
