You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
