I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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