i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Send help, water and tortillas.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
