In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i've created a new STD.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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