he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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