all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Actions speak louder than pants.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize