She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
