Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
