Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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