i permit you to call me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
