So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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