I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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