what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
