Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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