So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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