There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
