after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
