Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
