It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
