Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
