i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
