I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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