I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
