I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
