nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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