yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
