Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
