Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
