the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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