I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
