..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize