The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
do nipples grow back?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
