dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
