I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize