Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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