i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
