My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
