I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
