Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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