Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
