hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
