my mouth tastes like poor choices
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
