fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
