I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Bring me that man meat
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
