Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
