If i come over, it means nothing
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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